I’m propped up in my bed right now, with the heating pad on my right knee. My entire right side from my neck, to my shoulder, hip, knee, ankle and foot have been throbbing, since I woke this morning. I could feel the crash coming on last night.
I knew I had over done it yesterday. The past few days I spent working out in the yard, cleaning out closets and putting away Winter attire and getting out our Summer clothing. Once I started this, the next thing I knew I was rearranging the furniture. I like to put the music on and go to town! I like things neat and in order and it’s nice to change things up in our apt. I get bored looking at the same things pretty easily.
Even though I’m in pain, I still got all my household chores done, went over the bills, washed a load of blankets (to be stored for the Summer) and baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies. This way I feel as if I accomplished something. I decided to sit down with the heating pad and write in my journal. At first I was having the hardest time concentrating because of the pain I am in. Remember, I do not take any prescribed pain medication for my chronic illnesses, only Ibuprofen. It took me a few minutes but the next thing I knew, I was writing about my chronic pain.
I thought if I tried some arthritis yoga I would feel some relief but my joints aren’t bending like they should, due to the inflammation. I actually had trouble getting up off of the yoga mat. I could not put any pressure on my knees. They’re both looking like the elephant man today. My wrist can barely bend so I couldn’t use them either. I eventually slid my butt over to the weight bench and pulled myself up.
Existing with FMS… This short video says it all my friends… Great job Patricia!
I could feel my inner self-starting to become sad. I was thinking to myself, please don’t let this flare-up last! It’s a holiday weekend and we have plans and I do NOT want to cancel. It totally bums me out when I get excited about an event and I end up NOT being able to attend (I’ve spoken about this in previous posts). I’ve been looking forward to seeing old friends, eating, drinking, catching up and having many laughs. Making new memories with old friends.
I chose to have a long meditation session instead. Keeping myself calm, my mind clear, pushing all the worries away and letting myself just BE, in the moment, was the best thing for me to do. You see, the pity was starting to creep in and my mind started wandering towards all negative thoughts. I was starting to stress myself out, which only causes more wide-spread pain. Meditation has been a life saver for me. I can’t say it enough!
One good thing is my love will be with me. He will drive and carry everything for us. I will prepare any food items and make sure we have what we need packed for the cookout but other than that, I will rely on him come Sunday. He is a blessing… I’d be lost without his love and support! The fact that this rainy weather will be here for a couple of days means I’ll be down for a couple of days. Another bonus is we don’t have far to drive. When I’m having a flare-up, driving in the car, for a long period of time, usually makes me feel worse. Legs being bent in the same position and being low to the ground, hitting bumps as we drive can be excruciating! I don’t think people realize how bad it hurts me. I can break out in to tears, in a drop of a hat.
I’m always talking about staying positive and believing in myself and that’s what I am trying to do today. Not think about how I am going to feel in three days (not always easy). I believe if I keep the positive thoughts flowing and the mantra, I Am I Can I Will, flowing through my head, THEN… I Am I Can and I Will, will prevail! I cannot let the what if’s sink into my brain. NOPE! Not going to let them in! Not today!
Instead I’m going to rest up, make good choices and believe in myself. Every thing will work out just fine and pain or not, come Sunday, we will be out enjoying ourselves and our friends.
Positive thinking brings Positive energy. Positive energy brings High vibrations and as I’ve stated before, It’s the only way to Fly!
Peace out my friends.