My battle with myself comes and goes. You know, my mind is always racing. Always busy. That’s why I meditate daily, so I can slow my brain the fuck down.
Even when I’m thinking about what I need to do for the day, so I can feel relaxed, every morning I have to make a list and cross things off as I complete them. ALWAYS! DAILY! Even on the weekends! The fact that I can see it while passing through our apartment and I’m reminded of what needs to be done, it puts me at ease. IMMEDIATELY! EVERY TIME!
For instance, when I do laundry, I have to separate them BEFORE I bring them downstairs to wash them. It drives me crazy when I have to sort them out in the basement. I make sure this rarely happens. But on occasion, when my man is trying to help me, he’ll carry all the dirty laundry down for me at once. This way I don’t have to carry them down all those stairs. What a beautiful and kind gesture, but it makes me bonkers knowing all those clothes are down there. Not really sure why it makes me anxious, it just does!
Seems so silly when I say these things out loud and even as I write this, but these are the types of battles that come and go. The battle within myself. My battle with (OCD), Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder.